updates ad nauseum

Mom's health is improving. Thank you for your prayers. Her PT is making very slow progress (pneumonia and collapsed lungs will complicate that.) But she will recover. She needs herniated disc repair in her neck (lower place and no, it couldn't be done at the same time as the tumor-ectomy) and also in her lower back. Both of these surgeries must wait for her to recover from the tumor surgery and pneumonia. But we have a lot of hopes pinned to them for an even better situation for her.

Lucky is big and charming and crawling and pulling up to furniture and climbing stairs and charming and smart and loving and charming and handsome and loud and funny and charming. He sings like a Mourning Dove and growls like a monster.

Stinkerbell is SMART. According to the Standardized Tests That Will Forever Determine Your Child's Future and Give You Alternating Fits of Joy and Despair, she has advanced (in 6 weeks time) from reading equal to or better than 70% of all first-graders in the US to that of 96%. She is reading at 2nd-3rd grade levels. Now, according to the Non-Standardized Tests That We As Knowledgeable And Genius Parents have administered to her, she is adding 3 columns of numbers, subtracting 2 columns and carrying/borrowing numbers IN. HER. HEAD. I can't do this in my head. Sheesh, it's a challenge on paper! Now I can calculate a 33% discount on a pair of $99 boots. THAT'S useful stuff, folks.

The Mighty Hunter is hunting and not killing. As he says, "that's why it's called hunting." He took his aunt (Beboo) hunting Saturday afternoon and she bagged a small 5-point. She was soooooo excited. Giddy, even.

After awaking at 4:30AM! yesterday, I was able to get to sleep at an unusually early 10:30 last night. Don't envy me. It wasn't a good night. Not good at all. At 1:30, someone (caller ID says Joe Howard - and yes, I did just out you, Mrs. Joe Howard. Don't call my house EVER AGAIN!) jolted me from my slumber with an "uh oh, I must have the wrong number."

Then, sometime after that, I got, still asleep, to pee. I know that I didn't wet the bed for a number of reasons: 1) The bed is dry. 2) I woke The Mighty Hunter with the loud cracking sound made when I walked into the bathroom door. 3) The bed is dry. (I think the bed being dry is note-worthy in itself, since I sleep-walked to the bathroom and would have slept through it had I not centered the OPEN! door with my right eyebrow bone.)

Thirdly, Lucky awoke, hungry. I have weined him (shrinking the milk boobs down to NOTHING, FLAT. pun intended.) He has transitioned to formula in a bottle like it's all he ever had. He still gets all giggly and bouncing-up-and-down when I fiddle with the buttons on my shirt or change in front of him, so I no longer do this. I also can't scratch my neck or chest without him salivating. I fear I've created the Boob Man of all Boob Men. However, he was hungry at 3:30 this morning and the Pappy wouldn't do the job. FINALLY, The Mighty Hunter left his coma-like sleep long enough to hold Lucky while I staggered down the stairs to fix a warm bottle.

And, to finish off a crappy night of interrupted sleep and bruised faces, the alarm woke me up this morning. It just seems fair to me that if you have a really rough night that the next could be DELAYED or cancelled or SOMETHING! But, no. I'm awake. I got Stinkerbell fed, dressed and off to school. But I'm still in my pjs and robe and could certainly fall asleep without much encouragement or excuse.

Christmas shopping is later and harder this year than it has ever been for me. Even last year, when I was VERY PREGNANT and waddly and gimpy-legged from the 9 lb. behemoth on my left sciatic nerve and helping with the father-in-law who had prostate surgery and working part-time and all, I had my shopping ALMOST done by now. This year, though, I've got about 1/3 of my shopping done. I even guilt-tripped The Mighty Hunter into going shopping with me one day last week! And he DID! We were able to buy for all of our neices and nephews and God-sons and a good bit for Lucky and a little bit for Stinkerbell. But the HARD gifts are still looming, the ink fading and being obscured by the wrinkles and folds on the List.

Can someone out there Photoshop a picture of a REAL REINDEER so that it has the appearance of Rudolph? I would be soooo thankful. This is one of the things that Stinkerbell has asked Santa to bring her. That and a PET reindeer.

Seriously, I need a REAL picture of Rudolph. And if you could somehow put an autograph on it, you would totally rock this 6 year-old's Christmas morning.



Now, on to more (or less) important updates...

Auburn totally beat the CRAP out of alabama. Golly, I love my Tigers!