Memorial Day Fun

Here's what happened over the weekend. Cause I know your life will not be complete until I tell you about our non-excitement...

um. yeah.

Friday - packed way too much and left 2 hours later than planned. It's 6 hours from our house to Dauphin Island. That's a LONG way with a VERY! EXCITED! 6 year-old and a 4 month-old brea$tfed baby. We made it. Mommy needed a wheel barrel to carry her bo0bies upstairs, but it was ok. 3 am before we got to bed. But only because we ate with brother-in-law and wife and then spent $200! at W-M before leaving the "mainland."

How do you like the way I throw words around like "mainland?"

Saturday - slept a little late, but not too much. Because there was much sand to be rubbed into our cracks and jellyfish to sting Stinkerbell's hand and big waves to ruin the SeaDoo riding.

Sunday - we observed the Lord's day of rest by sleeping very late and then taking a 2 hour nap. We didn't load the tent, folding chairs, beach chairs, cooler, car seat carrier, diaper bag, sunblocks, hats, swimshoes, towels, sunglasses, ball caps, diapers, wipes, drinks, snacks, flippers, sand toys, etc. into the back of the Pimped Out Mamamobile. Instead, we stayed at the pool at the condo and swam. Stinkerbell graduated from wearing her ski vest constantly to swimming without it and playing in her flippers, which kept her afloat and gave her confidence to swim the length of the pool. Yes, even in the deep end.

Monday - we washed the sheets and towels and cleaned up after our nasty selves and rushed to make it to the ferry at 2:00. The ferry takes you across Mobile Bay to Fort Morgan, Gulf Shores and Orange Beach area. Just North of Gulf Shores is Foley and the outlet malls. We didn't shop. The HORROR OF IT ALL. But we did eat here. We were home by 11pm. Which allowed me to pack clothes for The Mighty Hunter's one-night trip to Tampa and get in bed by 12:30.

Now you can sleep peacefully tonight.

You're quite welcome.

#1 Songs Meme

This one is new to me.

Bee at WillBlogForShoes made me curious about the songs that were #1 on important dates in my life.

On the day I was born,
"My Sweet Lord/ Isn't It a Pity" by George Harrison

On the day Stinkerbell was born,
"Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child

On the day Lucky was born,
"Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé

On the day The Mighty Hunter was born,
"Wedding Bell Blues" by The 5th Dimension

On the day we were married,
"End of the Road" by Boyz II Men

If you want to look up yours, click. Leave a comment with a link to your list.

More Craziness and Some Laziness

Yesterday - took Stinkerbell to school, fetched my 86 y-o grandmother. Made it to kindergarten graduation. 5 kids fainted from the heat and those polyester caps and gowns.

Yes. 5 KINDERGARTENERS FAINTED AT THEIR GRADUATION. At 9:00 AM! (Have I ever told you how much I HATE summer in the South? No? Well, a LOT!)

My girl was not one of them, but 2 of her good friends were. They were re-hydrated and cooled off in the comfort of modern air conditioning and recovered quickly, even played their teeball games that evening. Took Stinkerbell, Aunt Margaret, Grandma, Beverly, Carl to Cracker Barrel for lunch. Ate too much. Returned Margaret and Grandma to their homes. Fell asleep nursing Lucky - twice. Teeball game. Much cooler than earlier in the day. Ate supper at a new steakhouse. Yummmm Taco Salad. Came home and noticed that I was engorged with enough milk to feed Mexico City.

Actually, I had already noticed that. Lawdy Lawdy! I hurt.

Today (Wednesday) - slept late with Lucky and Stinkerbell. Will complete an impossibly long list of chores - or not. But will attempt it anyway. If I can get off my butt and turn off my puter.

Tomorrow (Thursday) - will do some puter work at The Mighty Hunter's showroom in Gadsden. Then return for Stinkerbell's last voice lesson before summer break.

Friday - will pack up a lot more than necessary into the back of the Pimped Out Mamamobile and go to Dauphin Island for the weekend. Cause we're islandy like that.

Saturday - sunburn-o-rama. Cause I'm pasty white.

Sunday - walking like the Living Dead because sunburned limbs don't like to bend or touch each other or anything else. Might consider making the Island a nudist colony for the sunburnt Living Dead.

Monday - forcing crispy limbs to bend and hearing skin crackle like potato chips. Packing up sandy and dirty crap and making the return drive from the Island. Cause there are windows and doors to be sold and teeball games to be played.

All of this is to tell you that I don't plan on posting over the weekend. If I knew how, I might could schedule something to post while I'm gone. But I don't. So...

Just read my archives. Or visit some of the links in my sidebar. Just be sure you don't forget me. Cause I'm all addicted to your clicks.

Bye!

Bye!

Bye!

Y'all come back now, ya hear?!

Crazy Crazy Dayz

Wednesday - Church Roller Skating Party. I didn't fall once. There was, however, much arm flailing and general body convulsing.

Thursday - Field Day at Stinkerbell's school. Picnic lunch on damp grass with scores of kindergarteners. Shared my hamburger and opened many packs of ketchup. "Stinkerbell's Mom, can you...?"

Friday - Dashed out for Lucky's first portraits. CUTE! Heard of Beverly's mother's death. Went to Stinkerbell's school for end-of-year water party given by the kindergarten teachers. Teeball game. She got the game ball. Cooked for Beverly, husband, brother and sister-in-law.

Saturday - Ironed shirts. Went to funeral home. Bathed babies.

Sunday - SET MY ALARM ON A SUNDAY MORNING. That should tell you something people. Ironed shirts. Gathered towels, etc for baptism. Practiced my song, because I don't "ad lib" regardless of what the lyric sheet says. Practiced my ad lib 3 dozen times-ish. Applied pantyhose. Gathered change of clothes for later that afternoon. Sent The Mighty Hunter out to get his grandmother and aunt for the day's events. Baptism. Cried. Sang. Sweated and shook. Preaching, shaking of hands, greetings, exits, herding of spiders to Pimped Out Mamamobile. Lunch at new Chinese restaurant (yummmm). Funeral home. Nursed Lucky in empty parlor. Barely made it to pee and into the chapel before beginning of service. Diamond Rolex in front of me. Graveside service. 4 y-o Godson very curious about the grave beneath the casket. Placed bet with his mom about how long before he fell in. (still snickering about that.) Early dinner at Beverly's house with many strangers. In bed late.

Monday - Stinkerbell RODE! THE! BUS! to the high school football field to practice for graduation. I, however, was lazy and read blogs. Did much laundry, but apparently all the wrong things, because the things I need for tomorrow? Dirty still. Took Beverly, Carl (husband and The Mighty Hunter's uncle), Stinkerbell and Lucky golfing. According to The Mighty Hunter, I have a "beautiful swing." Yeah, right. I think he just wants to see me stick my butt out and get behind me to "help me with my grip." When The Mighty Hunter returned from a trip to Florida recently, (was VIP guest at The Players Championship - its sponsored by Jeld-wen, a window/door company that he sells through his business) he gave Stinkerbell her first set of kid-sized golf clubs. She wanted to play with her new "real golf clubs." Ate sandwiches (sand wedges! haha! a golf joke!) with Carl and Bev and got home after bedtime, still needing to wash the golf course filth off Stinkerbell's feet.

Tomorrow? will take Stinkerbell to school, then drive to fetch my grandmother, The Mighty Hunter's grandmother and aunt for graduation. Have NO! IDEA! how I'll manage 2 grandmothers (1 mildly feeble, 1 wobbly feeble), a child-like aunt and a very HEAVY! 4 month old baby at the football stadium without some kind of "medication." Should get in bed now. It's 11:34.

Enough already!

Stinkerbell's Deep Thoughts and More Silliness

The phone rang one evening. The alarm monitoring service was calling to tell us that the alarms were triggered at the office and warehouse. This happens occasionally, and is usually a malfunction or a rat. Neither our home nor our business has ever been broken into yet. The police were already on their way to the office.

Since The Mighty Hunter had just had a drink and would be meeting the police, I drove the four of us. Stinkerbell, Lucky and I sat in the Pimped-Out Mamamobile while The Mighty Hunter and the cop walked the outside of the building, the open construction areas and the interior of the office and warehouse. Together, they found nothing that would have set off the alarm.

The cop mentioned that while he waited for us to arrive, he went ahead and walked inside the construction area. He was making sure no one was still around and only found "a bunch of cats."

When The Mighty Hunter returned to the van, he made his report to Stinkerbell and me, including telling about the cop running into the cats.

me: so, it was cats that set off the alarm. great.
him: seems like it.
Stinkerbell: cats? how many?
him: don't know, several, 4 or 5 or 300. he didn't say how many exactly.
Stinkerbell: what color were they?

Because when a herd of cats sets off the alarm at a local business, the responding police officer should know to count them and list the color of each and be prepared to make a report to the kindergartener on the scene.

Memos have been sent. Standard Operational Procedure has been properly modified.

And it wasn't cats. It was a squirrel building a nest behind insulation.

Stupid squirrel.

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A bird - the extent of my bird identification skills is limited to eagle, hawk, vulture, hummingbird, robin, cardinal, bluebird, bluejay, mockingbird and all the other birds - decided to perch its pecking little self on my window this morning.

Flitter Flutter Peckpeckpeck

Then one of its friends sat next to it and they fluttered and flittered and peckpeckpecked together.

"Hello! Stupid little birds. Yeah, you. No, I'm not charmed by your magical appearance this morning. I'm sleeping. I know you wake up when the sun just begins to peak over the horizon. But the humans inside that brown brick house with the window that you discovered this morning, they like to sleep later than you. Especially the morning-loathing mom. If you show up again tomorrow morning, I may sneak out the back door and practice with Stinkerbell's bb gun. Consider yourself warned!"

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I'm needing chocolate chip cookies and milk.

This is a serious NEED people.

Serious.

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The Mighty Hunter has gone on a business trip to Florida for the week. Which means that my normal mornings of getting him and Stinkerbell out of the house for the day and then letting Lucky suck the very LIFE out of me until I can drag my lazy butt out of bed are gone for the week. GONE!

I set my alarm for my normal time. I planned to simply yank on a pair of jeans and a tshirt to drive Stinkerbell to school. If I had not hit snooze and then slept through my hitting snooze a few more times, we would have had a leisurely morning.

But I hit snooze and then slept through my hitting snooze a few more times.

And then the Good Lord awoke me at 7am. And we have to leave NO LATER than 7:25.

But, LO! The mighty mommy made it and with TIME TO SPARE!

But only because we ate breakfast in the Pimped-Out Mamamobile. And only because I had baked several extra biscuits and nuked a couple and filled sippy cups with juice.

So, thank you, Jesus, for making sure I was awake just in time. And thank you for letting me NOT follow some old fart who was on his way to Hardee's for coffee with old pals. 'Cause it wouldn't be very Christian of me to ride his bumper and tell him telepathically that he needs to get his junked up old truck OFF THE ROAD until all of who have SOMEWHERE TO GO and A SPECIFIC TIME TO BE THERE are where we need to be. Yeah, thanks! I love you. Amen.

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Time to make cookies.

Cause I NEED THEM!

Insanity Promised, Insanity Delivered

Today is Friday. A day that oozes anticipation for the coming sleeping late mornings of the weekend. Were I going to an office or "job" during the week now, I'd be soooo glad that today is today. But, I'm not. I have no use for what day of the week it is, except to get Stinkerbell off to school and The Mighty Hunter off to work on time.

When The Mighty Hunter's grandmother was still living - she passed Dec 2005 at 93 y-o - she taught me many things. Some of those things were not pleasant. That's a whole nother post. But one of the things I learned from her, as she aged and lost more and more of her independence and personality and awareness, is that if all you do is stay home (whether that actually be your home or a nursing facility or whatever) then you don't really need to keep up with whether it's Monday or Friday. The only difference between the days of the week is whether the wedding stories or baby stories were on tv or not.

I might as well be 93. Except I am the mutant, exception-t0-the-rule postpartum mom who is not obsessed with watching every birthing-related and baby-centric show on Discovery and TLC. I simply must watch my Y&R and even will occasionally enjoy a Days of Our Lives episode.

What is that nutty Sami going to do next?

As you should know as you've finished your required reading of my archives, Stinkerbell is in kindergarten. And our school year is about to end. And just to give us parents a little hint of what our summer will be like with our wild kids, our school district is taking advantage of the unused weather days by shortening the remaining 3 weeks. No more school on Fridays.

Do they not think they've tortured us enough by making us do homework already? COME ON!!! Homework in KINDERGARTEN???? And, really, isn't it enough that we'll spend the entire summer with our heathens darling children?

So, instead of only having Saturday and Sunday with Stinkerbell, she'll be home on Fridays also. Which is good, actually, cuz she really likes to sleep late and that makes for a happier, better-rested Mommy.

To inaugurate the insanity I promised you, Stinkerbell's friend Lauren came over this morning and will be here till lunch. Her mom is a home health care social worker and a wonderful friend. Stinkerbell and Lauren play together in a wonderful, invisible, don't-be-afraid-of-the-silence kind of way. Our house is situated a long way from our road and surrounded by barbed wire fence. (Yeah, we're that kind of redneck. The other side of the fence is a cattle pasture, sans cattle. anyhoo...) So, I feel "safe" allowing them to play outside unsupervised. Stinkerbell is a mature 6 and Lauren is 8. They are both smart girls and don't climb too high in the pear tree.

Lauren's mom was at the doctor with Lauren's older brother. He had a pin inserted into his hip joint because it had completely dislocated. (ouch!) She was talking about how she was thankful her kids didn't climb trees and risk the broken arms that usually come with that sort of thing.

um, yeah. except, um, no.

And she still lets Lauren come over and play. And, yes, I still let them climb the tree.

I think we're all insane now. I think our society has gone totally bonkers in over-protecting our children to the point of not allowing them to play tag! Not keeping score in teeball or soccer!

I played ball as a kid and we lost most of our games, but we still played and we had fun. It didn't kill my self-esteem. It didn't make me a meth-head. I finished high school with honors and graduated from a major university (Dean's list, thankyouverymuch.)

I played tag in recess. I played against boys. ::gasp:: And we played football. Tackle. And I got tackled. By boys. And one really chubby boy stepped on my head - which might explain a few things, actually. And I got right back up and knocked him on his butt.

And I climbed trees. But not very high. And I fell out. Without breaking my arm.

My brother broke my arm. Playing kickball. On the next-to-last-day of school. And I didn't get to go swimming for 6 weeks that summer break!

I'll go out on a limb here and say that my self-esteem issues are much more complex than simply playing on a crappy softball team. And that climbing trees and tackle football at recess made me adventurous and less fearful than I might have been otherwise.

Nevertheless, I hate to see Stinkerbell disappointed and injured. I do love her. I do want her to succeed and be happy. I just want her to learn the "painful" lessons early while the pain can be relieved by a hug from Mommy.

And since this is Friday, and will be a particularly busy one, I'm preparing her for a new adventure.

This afternoon, she and The Mighty Hunter will continue their attempts at domination of the Every Game's a Tie teeball league. (Gosh! That irks me. I will just have to keep score myself!)

And then immediately after the game, we will rush off to dress rehearsal for her recital tomorrow. The performing arts school where she takes voice lessons rents the local civic auditorium/basketball court for this annual event. I really hope the spotlight is bright enough to keep her from seeing the 1200ish people they expect to attend.

Cause if I had to sing for 1200 people, I'd crap my pants.

I will video her rehearsal and try to post it for y'all.

Cuz you REALLY need to witness the CUTENESS!!!

Have a great Friday, y'all.

Mystery Solved

I've figured out what is wrong with me, but it has nothing to do with my diet.

Promise!

Forgive me, Target. You are my favorite love, but long distance retail relationships are so hard. And a girl has needs, and Wal-mart is just so quick and easy.

This happened today. 15 miles from my home.

My pastor is on our sheriff's SWAT team and worked the raid.

All is well. Bad guys are wearing stripes now.