I blame Facebook

Blogging has been a wonderful way for me to vent my frustrations and express myself through words. I've enjoyed it a lot. I've had my high and low spots and haven't deleted a single post. Oh, I'm sure there are some posts that really ought to be deleted and shredded and hit with a Klingon disruptor ray. Yet they're still there, for whatever reason.

But Facebook is killing my blogging instincts.

It just fits so nicely with my ADD, that I just have nothing left for here.

Oh, I've got ideas.

I've got photos in my head that I want to take and describe.

I've got funny stories to tell.

But I just can't seem to keep my head in one place long enough to do more than this whiny post about not being able to compose a real post.

So, bear with me. I'll be back. New and Improved. or not.

Whatever.

Right now, The Mighty Hunter is here and I really want to spend time with him and the kids.

Oh! And the kids? They've been in rare hysterical form. I wish I could capture all their adorable cuteness and humor forever. I try, but batteries need recharging and dvd's need replacing and, well, I forget!

Just remember I love each every three of you.

On a weather/softball updatey note: it has rained out several games. Sissy finally got to play yesterday - in the rain, go figure! They lost to the Steroid Girls 6-1, which is better than their previous losses of 13-2 and 14-3. Sissy went 2 for 3, with a single and a solo homerun. She did her best yet at 3rd base; she just needs to remember to TAG THE RUNNER AT THE PLATE!!!!

7 more days of school, and then we get to sleep late for 2 months!

Will this year be any better?

9 years ago today, I peed on a stick and the sleep-deprivation began.

Last year, I was treated to a hectic lunch at Ryan's Steakhouse Buffet Madness. I did not enjoy it. Something Ryan's uses causes me, um, stomach "distress". I lovingly refer to it and Krystal as "gut bombs." The Mighty Hunter sat at the end of the table and talked to his aunt and uncle while I tried to eat 3 bites while feeding the then 1 y-o and escort the then 7 y-o to and from the buffet for her 4th helping of corn.

I don't think I had 3 bites.

I do know that when I came back from our 3rd trip for corn, my plate had been removed by the over-zealous server.

The Mighty Hunter was surprised when I "expressed" my Frustrations and Disappointment and HUNGER.

But, hey, if I didn't get 3 bites, then the likelihood of the gut bomb's explosive nature was significantly reduced.

Today very well may be an exact repeat of last year. The aunt and uncle are coming and will be eating lunch with us. It is their idea to go to a restaurant, "so no one has to clean up afterwards." Clearly their stomachs are lined with Teflon and not offended by Ryan's over-use of preservatives and C-4.

I fully intend to suggest at least 5 alternatives.

3 years ago today, I was about to pee on a stick.

Today, I will not pee on a stick, nor do I plan on it anytime soon - as in, EVER.

But I love my kids. They are the joys of my life. Sissy's heart is so full and tender. Lucky's eyes are bright and observant. They love each other and their parents. And they know we love them. I fail them as their mother every single day. Yet, I try to be the best mom I possibly can be. I never want them to doubt my love for them. I know these simple things are important because I learned them as a kid.

I never doubted my mom's love for me. She sacrificed so much to insure that I could be whatever I dreamed. I'm one of the lucky ones. While my mom wasn't perfect, she was perfect for me. She taught me so many things. She loved me unconditionally. She taught me of Jesus' perfect love and his sacrifice for my eternal soul. She tolerated my attitudes and misadventures. She forgave and corrected me. She set a great example for me to follow.

I love my mom. She's my hero.

A day of fun and sun

One day, long ago, in a land not far from where we live, the sun shone. The rains didn't fall. The water flowed. The children played outside.

And then it rained again for 212 years.

Helpless

Good friends of ours are divorcing.

They have 2 children together, 8 y-o daughter and 6 m-o son. He is a long-time friend of The Mighty Hunter. He and I have been friends for 20+ years. (sheesh, we're getting old!)

I wish she and I could have been closer friends, but our personalities clashed at times. My opinion of her as a friend works perfectly with the reasons for the divorce.

She is leaving him "for purely selfish reasons."

He is devastated. He still loves her. He is still in love with her.

There have been rumors for months (6+) that she has been seeing someone else. There may even be paternity issues with the newborn son.

My heart breaks for him. He has asked her to go to counseling; she has refused. He will be alone in the house they have filled with their family for the past 4 years; she is leaving and taking the kids. He has devoted himself to her; she isn't looking back.

My heart is sad for her. She has so much; she is dissatisfied. She has someone who loves her unconditionally; she is indifferent. She has a good family; she is tearing it apart.

I checked. My rose-colored glasses are put away. I know him well enough to know that he is a miserable, gloomy-gus most of the time. Oh, he can and will charm you if you work with him or aren't close to him. Once you become important to him, he reveals his inner Eyeore. I have often wondered what it must be like to live with someone who seems so unhappy and know that he has it good. To tolerate someone's growls and clouds and go on and make your own life joyful. To teach your children that daddy loves you dearly but is just grumpy.

That must be its own hell.

The Mighty Hunter and I have gone through our own hells before. WITH EACH OTHER. We have pushed the other away for whatever reason. But we have always waited for the other one to come out and join life again. I never doubt that The Mighty Hunter will be there for me. I will always be there for him as well.

But our friend's wife is leaving him. She refuses to make any efforts to reconcile. Yet she is still being intimate with him and has offered for him to tell the kids goodnight and "get together" with her then too.

Which will be just another hell for him.

The story is much more complicated than I can even describe. I have suspicions that go beyond an affair. I wish I didn't think these things about her. I wish that we had been able to become the kind of friends that tell the hard truths with love. I wish I could go kick her selfish tail.

I wish those kids weren't about to experience the hell that lies in front of them.

My heart breaks for them in a completely different way.

Pray with me, please.

What's been going on...

It has rained here. A lot. We were in a drought for the past 3 years and had gotten used to it a little. We have compensated. We are caught up. We are wet. We are soaked. We are tired of it.

The Mighty Hunter has been here since Friday the 24th. His work schedule started back on Wednesday the 29th, but he is getting to work here. When you consider that his having to fly everywhere and stay in hotels around the swine flu-infested country, I am glad that his schedule has him here right now. It's also been fun and a nice change of pace. Someone else "jumps up" when there is a diaper to change.

This past Friday morning, we all rode together to take Sissy to school. The Mighty Hunter had an appointment at the podiatrist, and I was going along just to spend a little extra time with him. Lucky went too, because Lucky goes everywhere I go, prettymuch. anyhoo... As Sissy got out of the Pimped Out Mamamobile, some thunder rumbled.

"otts at daddy?"

I answered because The Mighty Hunter wasn't paying attention for some reason. "It's God riding a wagon on a bumpy road." (Which was how we explained to Sissy, and it worked then.)

"ats monkeys jumpin on a bed!"

me: "those monkeys better get off that bed!!!"

"yup!"

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We're talking about potty-training, but no one is interested in trying it. He likes his diapers very much right now. Thankyouverymuch.

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We've worked on a craft project lately. Enjoy...