Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Surely, I'm not alone in this kind of thing happening to me

You should properly prepare yourself for this one. Get a kleenex. Don't take a drink, you might spit it out or choke on it. Make sure the kids won't be startled as you laugh OUT LOUD at my stupidity.

A few days ago, I was wandering around in the kitchen. Barefooted, like I like it. I don't know why I needed to take a step backwards, but I did. And as I did, the rough, calloused bottom of my right foot caught the corner of the nail on my left big toe and bent it backwards. It didn't completely break off, but I was forced to cut the Ugly Toenail Notch to prevent it from becoming in-grown.

This got me to thinking about the time that I was brushing my teeth and somehow my hand slipped and my toothbrush hit me in the eye. Did you know that you should rinse your eye with running water for 3 days after getting toothpaste in it? I don't know if lemon juice would have burned as badly.

Then there was the time that I bought some cheap deodorant to put on my feet to keep them from being so sweaty and sticking to my shoes in the midst of the Alabama summer hell HEAT. But I forgot and left said deodorant in my car's cupholder during the middle of the day. Did you know that solid deodorant/anitperspirant actually completely melts into a nasty little impossible-to-wash-off powdery liquid? And when you spill it on your linen pants and inside the cupholder that it looks like baby milk-puke.

SO. At the moment, these are the only things I can think of that are too embarassing to, you know, speak without snorting and peeing in my pants.

What stupid things have you done?

Someone should stop me before I click "Publish Post".

6 comments:

best casinos online said...

waah..you're not alone! surely..I bet there are people out there (including me) who has experienced much worst..

Kaye said...

I honestly fell off of a sidewalk...yes, a sidewalk...when I was 7 and broke my ankle.

Just call me Grace. =)

Super B's Mom said...

We should start a club!

I stumped my toe on the corner of the kitchen cabinet and when I bent down to rub my toe I whacked my head on the countertop...

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

Stupid things I've done? Geez, where should I begin?

For brevity's sake, I'll just tell one.

A few years ago I was dancing like a leprachaun/lumberjack (don't ask) (I also don't know how to spell leprechaun) and hit my big toe on the corner of the kitchen cabinet and broke my toenail nearly off.

triste said...

OH Sweet Jesus, I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. Ok, one time when I was at the office I went to answer the phone and I guess I was "answering with force" because instead of putting the phone to my ear I smashed it into my head. Yes, that is correct, I almost knocked myself out with the phone. Then of course I looked around like "WHO DID THAT".

Faith said...

LOL...I'm glad no one stopped you from hitting publish. HAHA. Funny...I am right there with ya on stupid stunts. I can't even think of one right now but thats okay...that's only cuz i have a terrible memory (and the fact that I do my best to block said stunts from permanent memory...hahaha)