Monday, June 30, 2008

Monday Moodiness

Today is June 30.

Thank you, I'm working on my obviousness skills.

8 years ago today, The Mighty Hunter's mother died of T-cell Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. She was an incredible woman who fought with every ounce of strength and every resource she had to extend her life. (6 month prognosis, stretched to 2 years)

She never met any of her grandchildren - here on Earth, anyway.

The week before she died, I had my first ultrasound of Stinkerbell. We took the video straight to her hospital room where the nurses had arranged for her to have a vcr brought in to watch it. Her vision had deteriorated to the point the she couldn't see across the room and just smiled politely while the video played and The Mighty Hunter and I pointed out the heart and nose and eyes and feet and hands and belly. She never saw the images on the video.

We miss her terribly.

FIL has moved on with his life, he is engaged. He visits her grave each time he comes home to see us. He's too young to be alone. She wouldn't want that for him.

The Mighty Hunter's maternal grandfather (whose preferred name is "Slick". I would never make up something like that) may have had a heartattack Thursday. "May have" because he won't go to a doctor and the home health nurse said "heart attack" and "it won't be long now."

He is a miserable, mean, hate-filled, abusive SOB. Last summer, he told The Mighty Hunter he always knew he (TMH) was a "no good SOB" and he didn't ever want to see him again.

Again, I would never make this stuff up.

He is without Christ. He has never had use for Jesus or faith or church. He didn't come to his youngest son's 2nd wedding, nor mine, nor BIL's. He did come to BIL's ordination service, which very nearly made the devil weep.

Not to worry, ol' devil. It didn't take.

Nevertheless, I pray for his soul. I pray that he takes the gift that God offers and then gets a gut-full of regret for all the hate he has sown in his life, and then I pray he dies without the chance of apologizing for his life and its deeds.

No, it's not very Christ-like. But it's the only way I can summon the prayers for his salvation.

Today is my mother's 61st birthday. A wonderful, funny woman, she has taught me to love endlessly, laugh hard and really live.

She is the high-water mark of good motherhood in my life.

I struggle to find words to express my love and admiration for my mom.

Best friend.
Role model.

How're your moods today? What bees are up your bonnet?


Super B's Mom said...

Wow...this day holds a lot of significance for you, huh? Reading about TMH's mom makes me sad. But it's great that you can keep her memory alive for Stinkerbell & Lucky.

Btw...are you sure you aren't upset with me about my earlier comment? I read Playgroups are No Place's response to my reply and her interpretation was NOT the message I was trying to get across. I've worried about it so much. I second-guessed myself over and over but I felt like it was something I needed to say.

Anonymous said...

It appears that moodiness might just be the order of the day... I've read similar sentiments on other blogs today! I'm pretty much moody every day!

I'm sorry about TMH's mom. She sounds like a great lady as does your mom!