Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I couldn't have imagined writing this 3 months ago

Earlier today, The Mighty Hunter talked to the bankruptcy attorney. A deputy had tried to find him to serve him papers on a lawsuit (or 2 or 6, we don't know exactly how many yet.) He wanted to know how stupid it might be to meet the deputy somewhere away from our home and accept the papers willingly. It wasn't a horrible idea, interestingly, so he will take care of it Friday.

It was strange to handle it so calmly and without the stomach cramps, belching and irritable bowel symptoms.

We discussed the business and his work now. He admitted that he is happier now that the business is closed. He agreed that even if we had not closed August 15, we would not have survived the current economic problems that everyone is facing. He is ok with it all.

I asked a favor of him. Will you please let up on yourself about it all? You should not be "punished" for it.

He promised to try to let go of the guilt. Not that he actually, you know, SAID those words. But that was the point that I made and he heard it. So, good enough, right?

Then I kissed him and told him I love him and squeezed him and jumped up and wrapped my legs around him and was an obnoxious pest while he said, "quit. I don't feel like getting loved right now!!" Luckily for me, Lucky and Sissy came and pitched in on the forced love.

When he is gone those 10 days straight for work, he stays alone in a hotel room. He eats dinner alone, unless a friend from the Insurance Company is in the same area. We talk on the phone several times each day. He misses us, and we miss him.

I am guaranteed kisses from the babies at any time of the day. He has to try to remember them.

I may not get a back rub, but I can rub the back of our babies anytime I want.

I may not get those yummy, sexy kisses that only The Mighty Hunter gives, but I can get sloppy, baby ones or sweet, little girl ones several times a day.

I may not get to find his foot under the covers in my sleep, but Lucky's feet find my face, my belly, my back.

I may not have a minute to myself, but he has more alone time than even he wants.

He may get to eat at most any restaurant he chooses, but I get the (mostly) home-cooked meals he prefers.

I may have laundry baskets of underwear and towels and socks that needed to folded and put away, but he only has to make sure the cleaners use extra starch in his shirts and not his shorts.

Accepting these trade-offs is not easy. But we're making it work. And, eventhough, we don't like some things about his new job, we're thankful for it.

We realize that we are still in God's hands, and we're still thankful for it. It's an amazing feeling to know that, though the world around us spins out of control, we will be fine, because God has his hand on our lives.

Liberating. That's how it feels.

The following is copied from an email I sent to The Mighty Hunter's mentor in the business...

If we hadn’t closed Aug 15, it would have happened in September or October or another day very soon. And had we not closed Aug 15, we would have borrowed Father-in-Law’s money and lost it. And had we not closed Aug 15, Bobbie wouldn’t be in college right now and doing very well at it.

And if those things aren’t reason enough to thank God for intervening, then I need to reevaluate my perspective and faith.

We are learning every day exactly who our REAL friends are – and who isn’t. We are living in dependence on the Lord in a way that we had forgotten. We are not enjoying being away from The Mighty Hunter, but we are SO very thankful that he was able to find good work as quickly as he did. We are praying for everyone associated with C&J, including those who are clearly not our real friends. Because God sent them to C&J, He will provide for them and bless them after C&J. We value the FAMILY that we gained there too - you, Bobbie, Misty – these are relationships that are priceless and we’ll never forget.

So, this Thanksgiving week, we are thankful.

Thankful we are no longer small business owners.

Thankful we are no longer partnered with Napoleon.

Thankful we are dependent on a Major Insurance Company for payroll and benefits and expenses.

Thankful we know we love each other.

Thankful we don't have to worry about what the other is doing 10 days out of 14.

Thankful we know the Lord and are swimming in his blessings.

Thankful we have received good advice and representation during these (legally) trying times.

Thankful we have the support of our family and friends.

Thankful that they tell us everyday.

Thankful that, today, Bobbie spoke to her son serving in Iraq.

Thankful that we can pay our bills and have a little left over.

Thankful that we can help others with what we have left over.

Thankful that we can see the big picture enough to be thankful.

Personally, I'm thankful for this and this. And warm blankets while napping on the couch. And little boy hands that like to touch your neck while he snuggles. And Christmas music. And casseroles with extra cheesse and Ritz crackers.

I'm also thankful for each of you who have stayed with me and my blog and its growth and evolution. I began this as a journal of things about Sissy that I was afraid I'd forget. Now it's entirely too random and self-centered to fit that description. Yet, here I am. 439 posts and counting.

(If you were to subtract the posts that were stupid and a total waste of my time and yours, you'd be left with a whopping total of approximately 1.)

I hope anyone who takes time out of their Thanksgiving day and/or week to read this has the best Thanksgiving EVER. You deserve it simply because you were not completely repulsed by me and my silly words.

Thank you. God bless. Go eat too much. Watch too much football. And nap too long.

Do Thanksgiving Right.

1 comment:

HomeSpun Threads said...

You know what! This time last year I was forced also to close a business that had been my life for almost 5 years. It was very sad and I KNOW the sickening feeling but what I can say now and look back on is that time keeps ticking and it does heal all things. Eventually, the letters stop, the e-mails, the calles, etc and you've felt like you've got a good grip on what is real. It all makes you want to take 2 steps back and appreciate what you have and then to not worry so much about what other people think. When God closes one door, he always opens another! He does have a plan! Bless you for expressing this writing. Sometimes it's easier to type it than to make the words actually come out of your mouth. Have a happy and Merry Christmas.