11-04-08

So, I voted.

Allow me the pleasure of introducing to you the wondrous, glorious, happy benefits to living in the boonies.

I went to the Pine Ridge Community Center (which is merely a cement block building that has a gas heater in it and is used now only for elections, but once hosted local boy scout troops and family reunions and the like) and noticed that the parking lot was nearly full with all of 7 cars. I knew that 4 of those cars probably belonged to the poll workers, so I wasn’t worried.

I walked in and was greeted, and shamed, by the wife of one our deacons for not coming to church in EVER. I signed the list and showed my drivers license. They handed me a ballot and a pen. The voting machines we used 2 years ago were gone. They were pretty old technology and probably not worth maintaining.

There were 2 other people filling in the circles by their choices at large, folding tables. The 2 cardboard dividers were being ignored. No one cared what the other was marking. I sat at a table, alone, because Fox News and all the damn ACORN nuts have made me paranoid. I colored in my circles. I guess, if I wanted to be completely accurate, they were not circles at all. They were really ovals. So, I colored in my ovals. I left empty the ovals next to races for which I lack an opinion – in spite of my intention of writing in names on those. I think it would be fun to see how many votes Harry Connick Jr would get for Alabama Supreme Court Justice or some office that hasn’t been interesting enough to me to research.

I turned over the ballot and read the amendments. Most of them were meaningless to me. What do I care what Blount County does? There were 2 things about my county. I marked them with my preference.

I walked to the men sitting beside the gray machine that eats the ballots and asked him which way to feed it to the monster. Interestingly, the gray voting monster didn’t say yummm or smack its lips when it ate my ballot. I took my “I Voted” sticker and left. But, I stopped at the door and shouted my thanks to the poll workers, who gave up their beautiful, Fall day in Alabama to make sure that I could vote for a man I don’t think will win anyway. But I voted.

Time lapse: 8 minutes, not counting the guilt trip.

I officially have the right to complain. And complain, I will.