Friday, July 13, 2007

Mowing Therapy and Waterhoses

I haven't always enjoyed mowing the yard. There have been times that I'd rather have a rectal exam than get out in the heat and bugs and humidity and allergens and heat. But over the past few years, I've come to appreciate the amazing therapeutic quality of being alone for an hour or two - even if it is on a lawn mower.

Know what I mean? Sure you do.

Our yard is very big and takes me at least an hour and a half to mow. Sometimes, like yesterday, I let it stretch out longer. Also, the grass was thick in spots and had to be mowed over 2 or 3 times to get it short.

Yesterday, I said that it hadn't been mowed since before Father's Day. This is true, but in my defense, it hasn't grown any until last week. We have had no rain at all until last week. And now everything is growing again. So, don't think I've just let the grass grow wild, all natural-like. I like our grass cut short and not snakey. Our yard is enclosed by a pasture fence, I even mow on the other side of the fence - inside the pasture - two mower's width, to keep it from being all snakey. And, yes, "snakey" is a term we use all the term here to refer to tall, grass where you can't see a snake hiding.

Well, now.

I strutted myself to the barn where the Kubota is kept, singing "Walk Away" with Kelly Clarkson. Then there was "Bitch" and "Redneck Woman" and "Heartbreaker", "Wild Night", "Cherry Bomb". Then "I Can't Do This" by Plumb, "Whatever" by Steven Curtis Chapman, and "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. These 3 songs began to change my mood some, as you can imagine. Then as I listened to "Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds" and "Lord I Believe in You," I began to loosen up and was able to think past the anger and hurt and disappointment and stress.

I began to see that everyone will disappoint and hurt me. And it's ok.

I began to see that I can trust only one person will never hurt me or disappoint me. And that's great.

By the time I had finished mowing, I was smiling again. The tight grip I had on my bitterness was loosened, and you know how good it feels to let go of something you've been squeezing the life out of.

I realized that I should wash the cut grass of the mowing deck. I've been told that it should be done each time the yard is mowed. But my memory leakage has kept this from happening everytime this summer. Once, maybe. Anyway, as I was kneeling and spraying the grass and sticking my hands into dark places where there might be bugs and spiders and things that I don't want to touch, The Mighty Hunter snuck up on me.

He began to help with the removal of the grass and was pretty helpful until he got cute with me and sprayed me with the waterhose.

I got him back with a spray to his crotch.

A short truce while we finished cleaning the mower was ended violently with him spraying me from neck to knee with the hose and then promptly running for his life.



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Thank you all so very, very much for the kind comments yesterday. It really helped to know that so many of you took the time to reach out to me with love and concern.

a note: I've taken anti-anxiety meds before. I'm OCD and have a very high tolerance for that type med, so I've hesitated to try anything because I know that a high dosage might be required. But I'm still thinking about it.

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Randomness:

Lucky is beginning to sit up alone and when on his belly, will pull and push himself around on the floor.

School starts in 27 days. Thank you JESUS!

We're eating dinner with some friends at their local country club tonight. I'm not a country club kind of gal, so I'm a little stressed over this. Besides the stress of eating at a place that causes me anxiety, I have no clothes to wear. Thanks to this baby fluff I still have on my butt and thighs and stomach. I was talking to my friend that we're going with about what to wear and what they have to eat, and she commented on the yummy desserts they serve. I felt compelled to point out that the mass consumption of desserts will not aid in our fluff removal. We've decided that each bite we take of desserts should be followed by a pig snort to remind of us of our ultimate goals.

I'll let you know how successful it is.

5 comments:

~JJ! said...

Glad you feel better...Music always helps me! Oh! and blogging.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Music helps me, too.

Glad he got a crotch spray.

Don't sweat the country club. Those people poop sitting down just like you!

Super B's Mom said...

So glad you are feeling better! I totally hear ya on the random therapy. When I'm down, sometimes just sitting in my flower beds pulling that damned bermuda grass out can be the best thing I can do for myself. Helps me to clear my head.

Hope you have a great time at the country club.

Cris said...

Mowing is one of my fav things to do too... gives me time to fantasize about being skinny and going to country clubs.

moosh in indy. said...

Note to self, must buy house with lawn. Much cheaper than therapy.