Thursday, July 12, 2007

One of those days

I'm still partying. Nothing can make me smile. Lucky's coos are precious, but no smile from his mommy. Stinkerbell's singing is great, but no smile from her mommy. The Mighty Hunter kissed me good-bye as he left for work this morning; I forced myself to smile, lest he think I didn't want the kiss. But it was insincere.

I'm thinking of calling the doctor about that anti-depressant they've offered.

I'm thinking of a glass of wine or 7.

I'm thinking of all the clothes I have that I can't fit my fluffy butt into.

I'm thinking of the grass that finally started growing again and needs cutting for the first time since before Father's Day.

I'm thinking of the angry songs on my ipod that I'll listen to and sing along with while mowing the jungle that is my yard.

I'm thinking that eventhough it would mean a lot for The Mighty Hunter to sleep in the same bed as me tonight, I'm not sure I want him that close to me.

I'm thinking that I can't think of anything that can make me smile right now.

No smiles today. Just angry and hurt tears.

And poop. The red-faced, head-swelling, grunting, straining, poor-baby kind of poop. It suits my mood perfectly.

At least I got to eat my salad without juggling everyone else's lunch at the same time.

Where'e that doctor's phone number? Nevermind, I know it....

5 comments:

Super B's Mom said...

So sorry that you are feeling down. I've certainly been where you are and it sucks. It's really hard when the different parenting styles clash.

There have been times when I knew my husband was right in principle, but his technique got my "Mama Hen" feathers ruffled in a big way.

You will get through this. And if need be, don't feel embarrased to take the dr. up on the med offer.

Keep your chin up.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Wish that I could help. Really, I know just how you feel.

You have my phone number. Call me. Anytime.

We can whine together.

~JJ! said...

I have been there too...

Hope you feel better soon...

moosh in indy. said...

Mono and motherhood is a suck ass combination.
Sorry.

Melzie said...

Awww well first off on the post below, btdt. I had a very emotional total FIT in front of hubby AND kids taking up for my son to dh the other day. It was ugly. Very ugly. So I am giving kudos that you waited to discuss. I hope you guys have made up by now. You just gotta let him make his own decisions(mistakes) with them. It stinks I know. And on your *mood, btdt. It stinks too. Sorry your whole week has just been stinky. Dont be afraid to do the med thing no different than antibiotics or glasses, they are there for a purpose so feel free. Here's my email holler anytime :) Want to play a game of scrabble or something online? litlmelzie@aol.com xoxo melzie