random randomness

We returned from Dauphin Island after midnight on Wednesday. The Mighty Hunter had a business meeting in Baton Rouge Wednesday afternoon, which made for the perfect excuse to visit one of the finest retail stores in the world. Complete with stuffed dead animals. Everything from cute arctic foxes to full-bodied elephants, lions, a polar bear and 2 zebras.

I returned from our days on "the island" with two things I would gladly do without...

1. strange sunburn on my back, from not having help applying sunblock

2. upper respiratory infection

Stinkerbell and Lucky had a great time. Tuesday, our last day there, The Mighty Hunter took Stinkerbell out on the Sea-Doo and was surrounded by dolphins. She is convinced that she could hear them "eek eek eeeeek!"

Stinkerbell enrolled in the local library's summer reading program (not THIS library!) We checked out 10 books for her to read. As of right now, she has finished 6.5 of them. In addition to these she's reading independently, she and I are reading The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I remember reading most of the series as a 4th grader and want to share the books with her now, since the movies have her interested.

if anyone has seen Prince Caspian, please let me know what you thought of it. We haven't made it to the movies yet for it and would be interested in a review or two.

I receive very little spam. (Well, until now. Now that I've jinxed myself, I'll start receiving 2000/day!) Anyway, I have received 2! spams from Microsoft. The interesting thing is that Microsoft is not trying to hawk its newest (crappy) version of Windows to this loyal XP user. NO! Microsoft is selling Viagra! I always suspected that Bill Gates made his money in something besides software.

get it? SOFTware!

I kill me.

you can't make this stuff up!

I must go now. Pancakes must be wiped off chins. Clothes must be washed. Suitcases must be stored. Library books must be exchanged for more. And softball resumes tonight.

Greetings from Dauphin Island

I had composed this on my iPhone... Cuz I'm cool like dat.

Except, it wouldn't email out. Some server connection failure baloney/computer fart.

So... some of these things I'm about to share with you aren't totally accurate anymore. However, they were accurate at 4am as I lay in bed, wishing I could sleep more.

ahem

I've been trying to post the Old Fashioned way via dashboard on my iPhone, but Safari doesn't like the dashboard. Perhaps it wanted a different color scheme. Perhaps the whole blogger look is just not cool enough for the iPhone. Perhaps Steve Jobs is a megalomaniac.

Perhaps I should move this post along...

We're at Dauphin Island. And I have already succeeded in taking a 2-hour nap with Lucky on The Most Comfortable Mattress In The World. But for some reason, sleep eludes me now.

Darn nap. Darn Bartles & James Mojitos. Darn peeing in the middle of the night.

But I'm managing my insomnia well here on The Most Comfortable Mattress In The World.

And lemmetellya, I really you. Because it was very clumsy and inefficient and annoying capitalizing all those word on my cool iPhone. It's also annoying capitalizing iPhone like that.

Things I left ag home on this trip:

1. Shampoo and Conditioner.
Fix: Not to worry. W-M gladly filled my requirements for clean and conditioned hair.

2. USB cable for the camera. My card was full with pictures I had downloaded but forgot to delete off the card.
Fix: One by stinkin' one.

3. Lukcy's shoes. We had already bought him some swim shoes. But I walked out of the house without his cute little hiking shoes. And did I realize this in time to turn around and get them? Almost - if 90 minutes is close enough.
Fix: Swim shoes are perfectly appropriate for any activity on an island!

4. Benadryl gel and cortisone cream. These are a girl's best friend when there is extra shaving requirements.
Fix: Try not to scratch.



In other news...

A long-time friend (and sales rep for The Mighty Hunter's company) is separated from his wife. We all suspect she is seeing someone else. I think the world of this guy. At one time, I might have had a crush on him - and vice versa - but that was many moons ago and before The Mighty Hunter charmed me with his killer line, "you're a keeper."

(rolling my eyes, grinning a little, rubbing my foot on his)

Anyway, this friend is on my mind. And he has the best nickname, which I can't share with you here, so you'll just have to trust me, but it's nearlyl impossible for me to call him by his actual name without umm-ing and errrr-ing a lot. But that's not too unusual either.

Just a quick "Hi There!" to all 75!!! of you who stopped by here after BooMama linked to me!

HI!!!

Most of you will quickly tire of my drivel, but I'd love for you to leave a quick comment so I can attempt to repay the visit. After all, a blogger does not live on her stat counter alone...

or something like that.

And now since I've been awake two hours, I'm hungry. I will now stop using Lucky's forehead to hold my iPhone for me and go rummage around for something unhealthy and yummy to eat.

Oh, I fully intend to make up for this bout of insomnia with another long nap on The Most Comfort..... oh, dangit, you know.

The verdict is in

I'm a ridiculously sad and silly person.

I'm all worked up over being mentioned (and LINKED TO) over at a little blog called...

{cue the trumpets}

{dah dah dah daaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!}

... BooMama



I'm painfully aware of how very much I need to get a life.

Now, all I have to do is turn off the computer and FORCE MYSELF to NOT watch my statcounter.

just out of reach

You know how you wake up and remember you dreamed.

Sometimes you remember your dream later in the day.

Sometimes it comes to you suddenly - BAM! - "wait, I had a dream last night."

Sometimes you can remember the whole thing.

Sometimes it's bits and pieces.

Well, here I sit. In the middle of bits and pieces.

With only the vague memory of my dream.

But I do remember one thing...

And it was a good dream...



sigh

That's the sound of fingers drummin'

Because I can't think of anything to write about.

Once again, my mind is occupied/obsessed with preparing for a trip. The Mighty Hunter's dad and Fiance own a condo on Dauphin Island, and we are leaving Thursday morning to go there for the weekend.

Yes, FIL and Fiance score a high on the cool people to visit list just because of their locations.

BIL and SIL are also going to the Island this weekend.

FIL and Fiance will be there as well.

It will be cozy. (read: crowded and loud)

There will be sunburns (mine) and sand in crotches (mine also, I'm sure.)

Margaritas and beer will be consumed.

Naps will be taken. By ME!!!

Relaxation will be forced upon me.

And yet, I don't look forward to this type of "relaxation."

Going on vacation sounds great. It is great for some. For this mommy, it involves packing up the house, forcing children to nap/be quiet/be still, etc. It forces the whole "stepping out of the comfort zone" thing. It puts me in another person's home. It brings insecurities from other's judgment (if only imaginary.) It forces a reduction in the amount of gooey, underbaked chocolate chip cookie consumption. It requires more consistent leg-shaving.

It also makes me hold in my farts.

The Mighty Hunter will have some business meetings he will have to travel to.

Thursday evening, he has one scheduled in Pensacola. Then, sometime during the trip or on our way home, he will go to Nah'Leans, Biloxi and Jackson, MS.

No, none of those are actually on our way home. But it will result in the company paying for the gas that fills the Pimped Out Mamamobile.

But, I suppose I should list the positives of the trip to the Island...

1. The Most Comfortable Mattress In The World.
2. Quiet community.
3. Walking distance to just about everywhere on the Island.
4. The Most Comfortable Mattress In The World.
5. Small, CLEAN swimming pool just outside the condo door.
6. FIL, Fiance, BIL and SIL to play with the kiddos - if only for a little while and if only at my pleading.
7. Hurricane Shutters that totally black-out a room for a nap.
8. The Most Comfortable Mattress In The World.

I'm sure there are other things to look forward to... I just can't list them at the moment.

So, I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Weekend planned.

As for me, I'm hoping...

it was a MIRACLE I tell you!

Stinkerbell attends a super school. The principal there runs a very efficient and completely fun little prison educational environment.

She has some wonderful reward systems in place for all kinds of achievement. Good citizens (based on the month's Character Word.) Random little awards for being quietest in the hallway. Getting to be assistant principal for the day (stapling papers together for the teachers to send home with the kids... read: drudge work that seems like a privilege.) Awards Days at the end of each grading period for classwork/grade achievement/improvement.

Today, Stinkerbell was allowed to read the morning announcements over the PA system. This was her reward for earning enough points by reading twenty-eleven library books.

So, this morning, I dressed myself and Lucky so that we could take her to school - instead of her daddy doing it. After letting her out at the sidewalk, like normal, we hung around until time for the announcements. We then loaded up the stroller and went inside to hear the Cutest Little Girl Voice say the Pledge of Allegiance and make the other announcements.

Mrs Jones, the principal, said something quick and introduced Stinkerbell, who very sweetly instructed to "stand, salute, pledge."

Which we all did. Even if we saluted the baby in the stroller eating cheerios. We stood and saluted.

did you know that if you mistype the word "salute" that its a very funny, not so polite word for a woman?

At the end of the Pledge, Stinkerbell proceeded to instruct everyone to "remain standing for a moment of silence".

And, then a Miracle happened.



She was silent.



For the first time in about, oh, 7 years! she was silent.

honest to chocolate, I consider de-barking her sometimes.

I'm giggly with excitement

There's some discussion going on over at Boomama about an Alabama blogger gathering.

I would love to suggest the name:

Blawgher

Anyhoo

I'm more excited than is appropriate about the possibility of meeting some of my fellow bloggers from my own area.

I would love to give Bee and T some big ol' hugs. Their friendships and prayers have meant the world to me. And Rachel, (aka "Myfriendrachel"), is back in Alabama and I would just LOVE to have the excuse for us to get together and laugh our butts off about Lord-knows-what.

But you know what interests me most?

The thought of us bloggers (mommybloggers and beyond) walking away from our keyboards - where we are safe and can say whatever we want and not worry about what our "readers" think, because we don't have to "face" them and can be who we really are and/or can be whoever/whatever we dream of being.

That interests me beyond words.

It's all psychology, folks. Because I'm quite the intellect.

An intellect with some serious social anxiety issues.

Another thing that interests me is what I might possibly wear that would not scream BORING!!!

So, if you're a blogger in Alabama (Boomama says Birmingham, but we all know that Bham is totally driveable from just about anywhere in the state,) then go here and leave your comment about it...

'Cause I want to meet you!!!

Where did it go?

Every morning, I bake three biscuits.

No, I don't make biscuits. I open the bag of frozen biscuits I purchase at W-M and put 3 on my Pampered Chef pizza stone (you gotta get you one of these!) and bake them.

I never mastered the art of making my own biscuits from scratch. I know. I'm a complete and utter failure as a Southern Woman. I've come to terms with it. I'd rather let someone else mix and knead and do all that work and put them in a bag and freeze them, letting me focus my valuable time and attention on more important things.

Like blogging.

As I was saying...

I bake three biscuits every morning.

2 for me with lots of butter. One for Lucky, no butter.

Today, he was hungry when his beautiful eyes popped open. He ate most of his biscuit but got bored when there were about 2 bites left. As I removed him from his high-chair, he knocked one of those already-broken-apart bites on the floor. He climbed all over me, still blogging at the table. When I put him on the floor, I couldn't see where the piece of biscuit fell...

who am I kiddin? I forgot about it.

A few minutes later, he reached up with his chubby, little hands for me to hold him. It was then I remembered the biscuit piece.

No where to be found.

I think I know where it is though...

Wordless Wednesday - batting left-handed

It has honestly taken me all friggin' day to upload these four pics. I tried Lord-knows how many times to upload them all at once. After waiting for what seemed like a ridiculously long time, I would get some "400" error message within the upload window. What's up with that? Finally, I resorted to uploading them one. at. a. time. in reverse order. So I wouldn't have to move them around.

I'm certain it has been a total waste of time and not worth all the effort.

follow up to Mother's Day

After reading Jennifer's comment to my post from earlier today, I started to respond in my own comment in my own blog. I realized after I had ranted for a few minutes, that it should probably be a post of its own.

Get ready. My attitude toward yesterday hasn't improved.

The comment you got pisses me off. (NOT your comment, just what someone said to you.)

"Administrative Professionals" don't type and answer phones 24-friggin 7! They, generally and hopefully, don't wipe poop and pee and puke off their "co-workers" multiple times per day.

They aren't awakened at 3:17 am by a baby who thinks his peekaboo sound would be appropriate for spying his sleeping mommy across the room.

And - this is the big one - THEY GET A (expletive deleted by my guilty conscience) FRIGGIN VACATION!!!!!

I ask for PART OF ONE DAY. I ask for SOME of my burden to be lightened for a FEW HOURS.

I don't ask to not be a mother for the day.

Although that's an idea.

The problem with taking a vacation from being a mommy is that there isn't a "co-worker" who covers your job completely while you're away. I refused (aka didn't have time) to do laundry yesterday or wash dishes. Guess what? No one handled it.

No one.

There wasn't a co-worker that said the equivalent of "well, she's not here today, but we still need to answer the phone or key this order into the computer or send this fax."

There was no one.

Oh gosh. I guess I'm a little bitter.

Watch out, Lord. I'm going to have to talk to you about this one...

Mother's Day

Well, I wish I could report that my Mother's Day was wonderful. Full of unicorns and rainbows and butterflies and sunshine and SMILES.

It was not a bad day. I should start with choosing to frame it in that context. It was not a bad day.

But, much like Jennifer's day began, it was not the Mother's Day I dreamed of (even if I was feeling guilty for wishing to be away from my children). Nor was it the day I yearned for, ached for or needed.

But it met the minimal standards of "Mother's Day."

My FIL woke me with a phone call at 6:27.

I fixed my own breakfast - and the breakfasts for everyone else.

I showered and shaved my legs in peace and quiet. Only bothered once by Stinkerbell asking if she could a particular dress. ("not now")

We went to our church's cemetary (annual "decoration day"/homecoming/excuse to wash tombstones - yes they WASH tombstones - and put fake flowers on graves and hear a strange preacher and talk to people who you haven't seen since last year and can't remember their name, but they remember yours, so you just smile). It was cold and windy. It always is. I was cold.

We went to lunch with The Mighty Hunter's aunts and uncles at the local Ryan's steakhouse/buffet/fly-feast. Ryan's gives me explosive diarrhea.

While at lunch, The Mighty Hunter talked while I tried to feed the baby who was missing his naptime and not interested in anything except Sprite and macaroni. Thankfully, he didn't want the mashed potatoes or I may have slipped into a diabetic shock (I'm not diabetic, but am hypoglycemic and have fainted many times in my life over not eating at regular intervals.) When TMH was clearly finished with his meal, I asked him to handle Lucky while I fixed myself a plate.

"I thought you had eaten."

sure, a serving of mashed potatoes and a few bites of tough chicken.

I fixed myself a salad, only to be ambushed by Stinkerbell who was ready for dessert. After helping her fix her dessert, I managed to eat a little salad, while still holding the cup for Lucky.

We leave Ryan's (aka gut-bomb palace) and then spend a few hours with those same aunts and uncles and FIL and Fiance. There was a boiled cabbage smell in that house, which gave me a migraine.

When we left at 3:30, I took my Relpax and waited on the migraine relief it brings.

I cooked Taco Rings for my mom at her house. The Mighty Hunter, my brother and dad moved furniture back into their living room. Sometime after the meal and before the kitchen was completely clean, the power went off.

My dad decides to go see how far away from their house the outage seemed to be spread. With Lucky. In my mom's Honda Accord. In the front seat. Without a carseat. On the STATE HIGHWAY that is a main road. Without telling anyone. Without simply getting into the Pimped-out Mamamobile. That had the keys in the ignition. And the carseat all ready-to-go.

As I chased him down with my lights flashing, there were many questions that he needed to answer. The list can be summarized with these two: "What the hell were you thinking?" and "Have you lost your ever-loving mind?"

He was quite repentant (repentEnt?) No one was harmed. My innate trust of my dad's judgment was, however, affected negatively. I realize that I need to actually explain things and speak the obvious to him.

Cuz he's in his own darn world.

I'm just thankful nothing happened to them. He would have never forgiven himself.

Now, I must say that Stinkerbell gave me a wonderful gift. While I was on the toilet for the first time yesterday morning, she presented me with a sweet gift bag. Inside was one of those cards with a song ("You're simply the best"). There was also a small white box with a "diamond" necklace. She wanted very much to give me some kind of diamond jewelry. My mom helped her with the required sneaking and purchase.

The Mighty Hunter had given me my Mother's Day gift a few weeks ago. 2 pairs of sandals. Very pretty sandals.

I just didn't know they were my Mother's Day gift until Saturday.

Now, I have to clean up the messy kitchen, catch up on the laundry that I let pile high, restock the fridge with food that we (and the extended family) ate up and daydream about the nap I didn't get yesterday.



I feel compelled to say, I am very thankful for my mom. She is a wonderful person, mom and friend. She is an example for me to follow in most areas of my life. I pray that I can be as good a mom as she has been to me and my brother. I realize not everyone had a good mom. I was especially blessed. I have a GREAT mom.

I'm also feeling guilty for not saying that yesterday was wonderful. But, you know what. It wasn't. It was a pretty normal day for me. I got a wonderful gift. I spent time with family. Yet, I wasn't relieved of my motherly burden a single bit. And that keeps the guilt at bay.

Happy belated Mother's Day to all y'all.

Motherhood in One Shot

dangit. I had my pic posted and something witty written and blogger ate it!

Here's my entry in the 5 Minutes for Mom photo contest. I hope to win a cool $1k. Go vote for me!!!

I wish I could think of something poetic and sentimental to write about my picture, but all I can think is how juicy and yummy Lucky's thigh is and how dry, cracked, pale and hairy my knuckles are. Also, look at the wrinkles in my shirt.

Photography credit: Stinkerbell. Sea World Orlando, April 27, 2008

just a request

Dear Google Toolbar Pop-up Blocker Thingy,

I enjoy the convenience of seeing the Google search box in my browser window. Right on top. Convenient and all. Allowing me to google whatever I want without having to actually navigate to your Google page.

very nice touch.

I enjoy the way you remember my previous searches. It's helpful for you to keep up with exactly what search terms I used when I was looking for a "rug burn kit" as an engagement gift suggestion (gag gift, nonetheless).

cool.

I have had an overall positive experience with you. You're doing an OK job.

Yet, today. Today, you irritated me. And you should know better than that. You should know that if I get irritated with something first thing in the morning, it stays with me all. stinkin'. day.

You see, it seems quite obvious to me that a pop-up blocker would block ALL pop-ups. However, you must still have sleep boogers in your eyes. Or maybe your Ambien hasn't worn off yet. I don't know what your problem is, I just want it fixed.

While looking for a recipe at foodtv.com (Paula's Home Cooking - more buttah!), I clicked to email a recipe to myself. This simple little click requires a pop-up form. Fine. I don't mind "temporarily allowing pop-ups from this site". So, I do the extra clicking required to get the form to open. But I happen to notice a new browser window open....

Netflix.

You make me click thirty-eleven times to open the email-a-recipe-to-myself form, yet you allow that stupid NETFLIX pop-up to expose itself to me!

Step it up, Google Toolbar Pop-Up Blocker Thingy.

Sincerely,
Auburn Gal Always



ps. to anyone still reading this. This morning started off at 5:21 with a leaking diaper - in MY bed. For the third time this week. Then after getting said diaper changed and the pisser responsible for said crime back to sleep, The Mighty Hunter gets all touchy-feely with me. No complaints - NO COMPLAINTS, I said. But what does it mean when someone's nose starts bleeding a mere 2 seconds after the touchy-feely is completed?

Possible culprits: allergies - looking guilty, see this. blood pressure - not likely. middle age - possible.

discoveries

I'm a tv nerd. I admit it. I like The History Channel, Discovery, TLC and The Style Channel.

did I say The Style Channel, I meant The CHURCH Channel.

Actually, no. Not the Church Channel. I just felt guilty not listing it.

But...

BUT! I do have a new favorite channel, The Gospel Music Channel. (338 on DirecTV.) This wonderful addition the the DirecTV lineup plays Christian music of all genres. They do interviews and artist focus shows. They also do "live" performances of artists of all styles.

Last night, I was watching this guy, Mike Farris on Front Row Live. His music is ... cool

cool

Too cool for Capital Letters.

Too cool for punctuation.

His bio is cool also.




this is my Mother's Day gift to you...

Wordless Wednesday

Proof that clover, chive blooms, milkweed, tiny jonquils and some strange weed with tiny purple blooms are beautiful when displayed in a jelly glass and picked by the hands of a 7 year-old.

WDW memoirs 2008 #4

I had to take a short break in most everything computer-related since my hard drive complained about my stuffing it full of duplicate pictures and software that I haven't used in 2 years.



3 hours and 2 days later, I have now cleaned up enough space to limp along a little more.



I'm wondering if I can store my music on my external drive and iTunes still work.... check back later...



Back to the program...



... (just because I was enjoying the pattern...)



... (sorry, last one, I promise!)

Ok, so this isn't a picture from WDW. None of these are. This neat tennis shot is from Stinkerbell's very first tennis lesson. She had never touched a tennis racket. We're not a tennis-playing family. But she was a natural. The picture is neat because the ball is coming right at me. The only thing wrong is that I was sitting at the net on the next court. So, even if her technique is good, her aim is waaaaay off.



This is my hand petting a dolphin at Sea World. i have no idea what I thought a dolphin should feel like. But it was like petting a really smooth, wet leather boot. It was fun. We paid way too much money for some STINKING fish to feed the dolphins. Lucky was asleep on my shoulder, so I snapped pictures and copped a few feels. No fish stink on me!

This is Stinkerbell trying to pet the dolphins. She was a little timid (out of character) but still enjoyed it.


This was also at Sea World. She was blabbing away about something and didn't want me to take her picture.


A good time was had by all...

I'm still filing this under WDW=happy family. I'm a rebel, I know. Next thing you know, I'll be blogging with real clothes on and my pajamas will be washed, dried, folded and put away!

WDW memoirs 2008 #3 (MK photos)

Cousin It tries to pull the Sword from the Stone


A "WDW Insider Tip": the canopy of a double stroller can hold a 26-lb, sleeping toddler.


The satisfied grin of an Honorary Cruise Director.


Prince Lucky waving at his adoring public.

My favorite shot of Stinkerbell and The Mighty Hunter. I've taken this shot on many outings. Notice the 2 (TWO) backpacks he's toting. He complained about my insistence on packing rain coats in a second bag - until it rained buckets that afternoon.




No, Lucky wasn't as excited about being near Cinderella as he might be in a few years.




Mommy, when will I get a rack like that? (Not till Mommy buys hers, baby. Be patient.)


Who is that, Mommy? She's puuurrrrrdeeeee.


Belle wasn't very talkative. What a poser!




Snow White had the perfect, little voice. And, oh, how Lucky liked it!

In which I regret taking the cordless phone outside

Remember this beast?





Well, last night he used the phone without permission. It seems he hit redial and called my mom, which confused her.

It confused us too when she called and asked why we would call her and not talk to her and was something wrong or were we playing a prank on her and making "obscene phone calls" 'cause she didn't think it was funny since she was getting old and we shouldn't get her all excited and then just hang up.





'Cause that's just rude!












The kicker is that the phone still works, if you don't mind the doggy drool and broken glass.

WDW memoirs 2008 #2

New things Lucky said while away...

choo choo!!!!

Tig-ger

Tig Tig

I Luh DaDa

A-guh (again)

While waiting for Stinkerbell to ride Goofy's Barnstormer, Lucky, Fiance and I went into an AIR-CONDITIONED gift shop. I had yet to buy Lucky a souvenir, waiting on just the Right Thing. We walked and walked and walked around the store, mostly entertaining and stretching the legs of my little almost-toddler. We found a very cute, very soft "baby" Tigger with a rattle inside it. He very quickly grabbed it from me and hugged it up close.

"Tigger."

Tig-GER

"Yes, Tigger!" thrilled out of my mind for him to be saying the name of my favorite Pooh character.

Tig-GER! umm-uhhhhmmmmm (that was his loving-hugging sound)

So we walked around with Tig-GER in his hands and hugged to his neck for several minutes. He would hold it in front of himself and say Tig-GER and Tig-Tig. And my heart would swell more everytime.

Then, without warning, Tig-GER was thrown to the floor, and refused love from that moment forth.

He no longer wanted the thing - or anything else, for that matter. So, eventhough he was absolutely adorable and preshus and gosh-darn-cute, I didn't buy it for him.

But I feel certain he will have a Tig-GER soon.