Wednesday, June 06, 2007

I need prayer y'all (also some advice)

A horrible thing is about to happen.

Horr i bulllllll.

Our tv, a mid-1990's model Sony big screen, just began acting nutso.

The HGTV icon is all yellow with a purple ghost behind it.

The only thing I can imagine that would be worse is if the air conditioner died and took the broadband with it.

What will I do without my babysitter educational television during this summer break from school?

And since I brought it up...

Who's genius idea was it for school to take summer breaks longer than a mommy can take without threatening to de-bark her child?

Really. Am I supposed to enjoy the fact that my daughter has learned to spell and can hack our parentspeak with her superior kindergarten intellect? If I pay my taxes for the public school teachers to earn a slightly-above-poverty-level salary, shouldn't they do this job year-round?

Don't get me wrong. I ADORE my daughter. She's my best friend. My role model. She's smart, talented, beautiful, sweet, and everything I want her to be and would like to be myself one day when I grow up.

But FOR THE LOVE OF CHOCOLATE! Couldn't those public school educators teach her to SHUT UP!!!

Don't tell me how long summer breaks are. And don't tell me that they repeat every dang year. And, please, PUHLEAZE don't tell me I'll miss her when school starts again in a few days weeks months. Right now, I just have to make it through the day without wiping her smart-aleck look off her face and pulling her ponytail hard! to make her stop sassing me.


The Mighty Hunter revealed to me during our trip to Dauphin Island recently, that he has a hunting trip planned to either Kentucky or Illinois (does it really matter where?), and he will be leaving the day immediately AFTER our 15th anniversary.

How do you think that went over?

Oh yeah. He got the guilt-trip entree with sides of spite and sarcasm, paired perfectly with the finest glass of the most subtle whine you can imagine.

So, he has asked me if I would like to go to the beautiful Smokey Mountains the weekend before, which happens to be Labor Day.

We planned our wedding to fall around a major federal holiday because you get a long weekend to help you celebrate with the jacked-up hotel rates and padded gas prices. So, we need to book our lodging, like yesterday, so that we can, you know, go.

But it looks like a tv might be our anniversary celebration instead.

Ever the optimist... I am looking forward to the laundry and packing fun that is my OCD.

Living here in the beautiful NE corner of Alabama, we are within driving distance of many wonderful places to visit. Having a newborn breas+fed baby (that may be weaned to a bottle by then, not sure yet, still thinking that over), I have a few limitations I will place on our anniversary travels...

  • Half-day's drive or less. We can reach the Gulf Coast in 6-8 hours. That's a little difficult to handle with milk factories building reserves on my chest.
  • Smokey Mountains are great. But I'd like something a little different/new.
  • Mountains are our preferred vacationy landscape.
  • The Mighty Hunter hates cities, but I love me some shopping and good restaurants.
  • Kid-friendly is a plus, but not a requirement. Stinkerbell expects to go everywhere I go, but she may get to spend! the! night! with her Nanny and Pa.
  • Flying is not out of the question, but remember the infant and his tender ears and the story The Mighty Hunter heard about a newborn who flew one! time! and lost its hearing to the rupturing of eardrums and the irresponsible choices of the parents. (I say stick a pappy or a nippy in his pie-hole and his ears will pop and not EXPLODE!)
  • I love history and historical places. I would LOVE to spend a month in Virginia and roam around there. That trip will probably wait until we are independently wealthy. um, yeah.

So, send me your suggestions for me so that I can capitalize completely on The Mighty Hunter's poor hunting trip timing.

Also, if you have some really good jabs that I can throw at him if he starts to object or defend himself, I'd love to use them. So I can be witty and all "the readers of my blog - yes! there are readerSSSS - told me to tell you ___________!"

Have yourselves a great Wednesday evening!

I'm hungry! Left-over boneless wings! yummmm


Damselfly said...

You're so funny! Just today I blogged about how we're not taking a vacation this year because of the babe. Ah well. Since you love Virginia, how about Charlottesville? I loved it there. It's a beautiful college town with some interesting restaurants, but it's not too city-ish, so your husband wouldn't be sad.

WillBlog said...

I'm guessing since you guys are so close, you've probably already done the Chattanooga thing! It's one of my favorite places!

Not sure if I can give you any cutting remarks for the Mighty Hunter. Except maybe could he take HH with him? He's not really the huntin' type, but he could hug some trees along the way!

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

You can come to my house and pretend it's a bed and breakfast. We have an inadequately cooled bonus room with a working TV and bed AND a foose ball table!!

I'd let you stay for free! All you'd have to do is figure out what to make for dinner, make dinner, and clean up after dinner.

Sounds fun, huh!

Sorry, i have no suggestions.

R.I.P 1990's Model Sony.