que sera, sera

Well, here I lie. Awake at 2:25am. Everyone but the dogs (who won't shut up barking at the moon) is asleep.

I blame The Mighty Hunter. I had Lucky asleep and was ready to put him to bed, when The Mighty Hunter called his brother and was just talking Too Loud. I took Lucky upstairs and was trying to get him back to sleep, when The Mighty Hunter was overcome with his Loud, Funny Laugh.

And that's when I realized I would be wide awake when Lucky finally did get back to sleep.

at 12:30.

::grumble gripe complain huff puff::

So, yesterday (Friday) was a terribly painful day. The Mighty Hunter and his little Napoleon partner announced to all the employees that the business was closing. Most of the office staff stayed way past 5, not wanting to leave.

I wasn't there for the announcement - thank you, Jesus! - but came there afterwards to reimburse someone for fuel out of our personal account. I cried The Ugly Cry a lot. I wore my sunglasses the whole time I was there. I hugged everyone and told them what they mean to us.

We are planning a cook-out for sometime later this month.

Napoleon is not invited.

These people have been extended family for the past 3 years. I hate knowing they're going to the unemployment office Monday because our business failed.

Or maybe not...

Last night, Napoleon called and told The Mighty Hunter that the owner of the store that is 90% of our customer base contacted him and offered to loan the money.

Yes, we already had arranged a loan to get us through and keep us operating - from The Mighty Hunter's dad.

But this guy has a vested interest (other than the father-son thing) to keep us in business. His customers (who will not be getting their orders that they've made partial payments for) will get their product. He will not be sued by them. He will not have to sue us and the manufacturers.

win-win? maybe

The Mighty Hunter doesn't trust this man very much. So, that's a huge hurdle that must be overcome.

But he feels the obligation to get the details of the offer and consider it.

false hope? maybe

If this store owner will loan the money/buy into the company AND continue to allow us to sell to his customers AND smooth things over with the other stores..

well just maybe

All The Mighty Hunter and I want to do is follow God's will.

I realized, when I returned home from telling everyone goodbye, that we are all in God's hands. And you know what? That feels pretty darn good.

If only I had realized this days (weeks?) (months?) (years!) ago.

That's the thing about self-sufficiency and independence. God wants to us depend on Him. He wants to supply our needs. Sure He uses all kinds of tools in the world to provide for us. But I'm certain we lost sight of how we MUST keep Him in control.

So, please continue to pray for us and the staff. The nails aren't in the coffin just yet. There may be someone on the way with a defibrillator.

I can't tell you how very VERY much all your kind comments and prayers mean to me. This is the kind of situation that is difficult to share with just anyone. But being all bloggy anonymous (mostly, anyway) makes it possible for me to pour out my heart and get the racing, anxious, exhausting thoughts out of my head. You are wonderful people. I thank Jesus for each of you.

I hope your Sunday is wonderful.

I hope our Monday is hope-FILLED.