Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Bodily Fluids.

(I'll try to not be too gross. But the very topic is gross. So, The Queasy should just move on and read something NOT Gross from my Archives.)

Bodily fluids generally have a color. Blood is red. Poop is usually a nasty brownish thing (unless my grandmother is taking Stinkerbell to the bathroom after she has eaten some blue candy and drank lemonade. Then it will be a terrifyingly lime green that causes my VERY BACKWARDS OLD FASHIONED doesn't-say-pregnant-but-whispers-"pg" 80+ y-o grandmother pray for her very bowels.) Snot SHOULD be clear, but if you've got my allergies and sinus problems, its not (geddit? its not - itsnot - it snot! I kill me!) Pee is yellow.

For some reason, it surprises me that bre@stmilk is white. Or at least that MY bre@stmilk is white. This is probably connected, psychologically speaking, to the amazement that I can sustain a baby simply by feeding myself and letting him latch on and snack away. I guess I expected my bre@stmilk to be clear.

Or chocolatey brown and sweet, like my chocolate chip cookies.

Or like tea, good Southern SWEET Tea.

Or purple like the grape kool-aid we had last week.

Or yellow like the Country Time lemonade we drink all the time.

Or bubbly clear like my strange and new addiction to Sprite.

Or light yellow like the butter and Velveeta that I add to everything.

Or red like the tomato sauce and Rotel that I use in everything I cook.

I mean, if Lucky is getting the nutrients of the foods I eat... (Yes, I DO eat a nutritional diet. Velveeta has calcium. Chocolate chip cookies have eggs. Rotel has tomatoes and chiles and other Rotelly things.) ...and has the smelly man-farts to prove it, why shouldn't the milk he drinks LOOK like those foods?

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

My breastmilk would change colors depending on what I ate. It was pinkish once, yellowish, and tannish. Not sure what caused it, but it was weird!

I love your blogroll title...Restraining orders! Ha!

Did you get my email?

And make sure you read my post about Thinking Blogger awards, to be posted later. Just a heads up for you!