Cleaning House and Other Miscellaneous Crap
Yesterday, I went over to my old, temporary blog at wordpress and copied the handful of posts from there and put them over here at blogger.
Here are the links.
The Mighty Hunter
Friday Night Lights and a Flock of Ducks (my favorite post title)
Friday evening Stinkerbell had a fever. 103.3. Nothing else wrong with her except a little bit of a headache. Ibuprofen helped with the temp and the headache. She was all apanicky about not getting to go to her friend Lauren's birthday party the next day at Club Libby Lu - which you must observe sometime. Saturday morning, she was without fever and no other symptoms, so I let her go.
Yeah, you totally get me. I don't give a rip about the other kids catching what was clearly SARS. I want my daughter to get her nails painted, her makeup done and a cheap Hannah Montana wig! Priorities, people!
And she was totally Hannah Montana. Don't even TRY to shortcut the name. It's not Hannah. It's HannahMontana, said as fast as a 6 y-o from Alabama can say it.
More from Friday night... The Mighty Hunter was given the grocery list and asked to go get the groceries. Yes, I have completely lost the will to live. But I felt that, since I no longer wanted to live, I could die as a martyr by staying home with my daughter who was dying from SARS and the possibility of not going to Libby Lu. So, he goes to our Wal-mart and gets the things on the list. But I can't just leave his grocery shopping trips with this simple description. There must be a play-by-play...
He has his bluetooth thingy in his ear and calls me and this is what the other shoppers hear him say to the voices in his head...
what kind of cheese? cheddar? mild? sharp? sharp. sharp or extra sharp? extra. they don't have extra sharp. oh wait here it is. ok. do I have any of my sandwich cheeses? yes, I ate them up already. here they are. I'm getting some anyway. napkins? where are they? I see 'em. hand soap? does it matter what kind? no, they all have scents now, you must not have looked at the soaps lately, they all have a scent. smelly. smelly. smelly. stinky smelly. [coughs gags] good grief! that stinks! smelly. here's some Ivory. I'm getting Ivory. we don't need dog food, you got it already. ok, what's left?
Can you IMAGINE the looks he gets? People, we live in a very rural area. There are some serious hillbilles here. They probably think his bluetooth is a hearing aid (I've actually been asked that before.) They're probably telling the managers to call the police because this madman in the soap aisle is arguing with himself and insulting the soaps.
And he does this EVERY TIME HE GOES TO THE STORE WITH MY LIST.
Yes, I'll accept your prayers and sympathy.
But when he comes home from his sociopathic trip to Wal-mart, he sneaks in the back door to surprise me with roses.
Roses! and Chocolate chip cookie dough!!!
"because you've seemed kinda down lately"
which only made me cry again. dang postpartum depression.
Yeah, I'll keep my crazy, inept-shopping Mighty Hunter.